STORIES
A few anecdotes inspired by real life.
This butterfly has nothing to do with these stories — it's pretty though.
But for a faulty valve my grandchildren would never have existed!
My older brother went to school with a very clever guy called Charlie. Now, Charlie was quite an entrepreneur, he ran his own local newspaper at the age of fourteen, played keyboard in bands and all sorts of stuff. At the time of my story he played organ in a local North East band called Firm Landing.
One day, the band bought a new amplifier for the microphone system, a Selmer 4-channel 100W PA amp. It was Saturday and the band had a gig that evening, their problem was that the new amp was faulty and intermittently made a huge buzzing sound. The amp couldn't be used, the shop couldn't fix it (too late in the day, no time left), so they needed a fix before the evening's gig and Charlie remembered about my brother's little brother who knew a thing or two about electronics.
The band pulled up outside our house in their bright red Ford Transit van, they brought the amp inside, and asked me to take a look at it. The problem turned out to be a faulty valve (ECC83) with an intermittent short between the heater and cathode. I switched the faulty valve for a new one (I used to have that sort of thing in my tool box — and still have!) and all was well. Charlie and the band were pleased with the result, and asked me if I would like to go to the gig with them that evening, so I did.
Without these my grandchildren would never have existed!
We became great friends and later I joined the band playing bass. I used to live at Pete the drummer's house and one day his wife Soozie's beautiful sister Tricia returned from Sweden where she had been working as an au pair. We met, and two weeks later we were living together, and that, as they say, was that.
If it had not been for the faulty valve it would have been most unlikely that Tricia and I would ever have met, our social circles were poles apart. As a consequence our three daughters and five Grandchildren would never have existed! I like valves!
Andy and Trish — A nocturnal story for the John Peel Home Truths radio show
We have had a number of odd/interesting things happen to us in our lifetime, everyone does. This is a true story that I wrote up for John Peel's Home Truths radio show. I was astounded to have it read out on the show — so were other people, apparently it was quite an achievement!!
I went to college in Portsmouth where my wife and I lived in a bedsit. We lived in a large bedroom across the front of the house, and the other lodger, who I will call Peter because that’s his name, occupied the middle bedroom, a right turn half way along the landing between our room and the bathroom.
One evening the household settled down for the night, and at some point between midnight and a respectable time for waking Peter went to the loo. On his way back he forgot the right turn and came straight along to our room. In those days, young and impetuous as we were, we slept naked and never bothered locking the door. We were startled awake by someone getting into bed between us. My wife thought it was me come back from the bathroom except she realised I didn’t smell right, not bad, but not the right essence of man. Tricia sat up, saw me on the other side of the bed and did several double takes before realizing what was happening. I got out of bed and struggled to get Peter to his feet.
The problem was that he was obviously comfortable and every time I lost my hold he shot back into bed and snuggled up with Trish. Eventually we got him up on his feet, frog marched him to the door in a three way dance of the naked, and launched him into the night onto the landing.
Peter probably didn’t know why we could barely keep a straight face each time we met him, or maybe he did!
Married to the band
In the UK most people get married on a Saturday. The down side of this is that because it's a Saturday most people aren't at work and they happily come to your wedding just for the free booze.
We enjoy breaking with tradition and didn't want a big wedding with all kinds of hangers on so we decided to do it differently.
We had been together for about a year and a half when we finally decided to get married. We "romantically" set the date for Thursday the 14th of February.
When I went to the registry office to book the date, the registrar was far from impressed — his only comment was, "That's not a Saturday!". When I pointed out that it was Valentine's day and really romantic he did a sort of Christmas Carol Scrooge impression and might just as well have said, "Humbug!"
Valentine's Day gig (artist's impression)
Ah well!
Let's face it, the real reason for marrying on Valentine's day is that the date is nigh on impossible to forget and, up until now, years later, I have never forgotten an anniversary (yet!).
Another little thing that I did to make Valentine's day go a bit easier was to buy twelve red roses. To be exact, twelve red artificial roses from IKEA. Now, when Valentine's day arrives I just have to dust off the roses and stick them in a vase. If you think that that is a bit too cheap, I do also have to buy/make a card, and think up a really good poem to go inside! I digress... again...
Being Valentine's day and what with the celebrations going on there was quite a demand for entertainment that day and thus, a good chance that we would get a band gig. Sure enough, we got a booking from Teesside Polytechnic; they were having a Valentine's dance.
Personally, I couldn't pass up the chance of a gig and Tricia wouldn't stand in the way — even on her wedding day!
So, we got married, had our wedding breakfast at my Mum and Dad's house (the Whernside studio) and, at the end of a great day, we went to the gig.
At the Poly we got set up, did sound checks, etc. as you do and, when we finally started playing, while I was busy doing my band thingies, singing, playing and doing the sound, my brand new wife was being chatted up by some guy out of "Starry eyed and laughing" one of the other bands performing that evening. Cheeky dugger!
Ah well! It was me who went home with her that night, and we were fully licensed! On the other hand there was none of that consummating stuff on Valentine's day — we didn't get home until after midnight!
studio control room
Coincidences
As we got to know each other Tricia and I discovered that there are some eerie similarities between our families. About the only difference between us seemed to be that I was a boy and she was a girl — handy — and a good place to start from.
The first set of coincidences is in the names of our aunts and uncles. We have the same Christian names in both families, uncles George, John, and Tom, and aunties Jessie, Jean, and Liz. Not too surprising maybe but, the really odd thing though is that in both families the George is married to the Jessie, John to Jean, and Tom to Liz.
When we married, our uncles John and aunties Jean both gave us wine glasses as a wedding present. The crunch is though that although our Jean's and John's came from different ends of the country, and they chose the glasses completely independently, the glasses were the same model from the same manufacturer, the only difference was that they were different sizes; which was handy.
In both of our families we had a Grandfather named Alfred. Also, in both of the families there was a grandfather who was a stone mason. Both masons worked in Egypt on the Aswan Dam project, both were afflicted with sun stroke, and both were eventually sent home with some financial compensation.
Their wives, our Grandmothers, were both very entrepreneurial. With the compensation they received they each bought and ran corner shops, my Gran was a general dealer in Maltby near Rotherham, and Tricia's Gran was a green grocer in Sunderland.
Every now and then we identify yet another coincidence in our families. We were obviously meant for each other!
Eerie? Odd? Maybe you and your partner also have just as many coincidences in your backgrounds? Let me know! at comments@chisholm.nl
Me Cheap?
I mentioned the Valentine's roses in the bit about the Valentine's day gig. I bought twelve red artificial roses from IKEA so that when Valentine's day (my wedding anniversary) arrives I just have to dust off the roses and stick them in a vase. Now, I can understand that you may find that a bit cheap although, I have to disagree because it is simply practical.
I always find that another of the difficult days of the year is one's partner's birthday and specifically, what to get for a present. After all, what do you buy the most beautiful person in the world who already has everything including a very thoughtful and fine spouse?
One year I really did outdo myself — I got Tricia an iron. Yes, you read it right, one of those things for making clothes flat.
Just what she wanted! (Can you hear the sarcasm in my voice? You should have heard the sarcasm in her voice!)
Can you imagine her reaction when I told her how much it cost?
Nothing!... I got it with Airmiles!... We really did need a new one!